The Will To Find A Way (R)

[aquiladorado]

”I would do no such thing, considering she has not fled from your disgraceful ways already.” Guyra’s response was slightly delayed, as she was paying attention to the mare’s opinions. ”Although she seems the smart sort in holding her tongue – why she has stayed with you, I can’t comprehend.” She locker her gaze onto the stallion’s and returned every bit of disgust into it. ”No, I can’t force her to leave your side, but I can shed some light on the truth of who you are. No mare with any sense would run with you after what you’ve done!”

Yunkara couldn’t hear anymore. ”That was seven years ago!”[/i] he roared, rearing onto his hind legs. ”You think I have forgotten about it? Well I never will! But I am going to fix it – why else do you think I came back?”[/i] His voice quivered in his anger; every word spat out was full of hatred for the bird, and the past she was endlessly reminding him of. ”I am not who you once met,”[/i] said the Sooty Buckskin, lowering himself back to the ground and trying to get control of his temper. ”And if you don’t mind I would prefer to speak to you about these matters alone.”[/i] Yunkara indicated with a shake of his head where the eagle should wait for him. Turning to Shaylx, the stallion found he could not meet her gaze in his shameful state. ”I’m so sorry,”[/i] he whispered, before slinking out of the copse of trees to speak with the eagle.

[Shay]

He left me, that was all she could think, with a simple 'I'm sorry' he disappeared after that feathered rat. Was he coming back? She had thought he wanted her with him, but it would seem that she was mistaken. Another error in judgment, one more to add to her growing lists of what she had done wrong in her life. Left with a mountain of questions and with no answers in sight Shaylx turned away from where he had vanished. The events playing over in her mind.

Let him keep his secrets then, she held no sway with him, no reason to bear the knowledge of anything more then his name. The illusions she had unwittingly woven had him caring for her where others did not. She had cast him as her heart, her soul in the play that was her life. A stupid move to make. She didn't travel far, merely chose the shelter of the surrounding trees in which to rest instead of an open area with no protection.

A few weeks ago she wouldn't have had a problem with him leaving it, and that there just told her how much he had come to mean to her. Foolish heart never seemed to listen. At loose ends she leaned her weight against the thick trunks surrounding her form. Time passed, minutes ticked by slowly into hours the sun's flaming visage fell several inches towards the horizon and still there was no sound, no scent that told her he was coming back for her. Still she waited with baited hope. straining every sense she had to detect his return.

[aquiladorado]

Having let the stallion lead her away into the open land past the trees, Guyra sat impatiently on a branch as she curiously watched the Sooty Buckskin struggling with himself. She couldn’t believe it, but he actually had feelings that he was trying to control – actual feelings, like every other creature in the world. And by feelings, she didn’t mean it so simply. The eagle had seen into his thoughts before, long ago, but had seen nothing other than hate and selfish desires. The feelings that were there now actually meant something, and they were on the topic of the mare. Both mares, actually. It came as quite a surprise to Guyra, but not enough to push past this stallion’s deceptive nature.

Striking up her end of the deal, she fiercely laid it on the stallion. ”I am giving you one chance, stallion. Either get up and leave the High Country once and for all, or I will be back. Your search is pointless, you will not find her. This is a warning and promise – if you do not leave, we will force you to. Your presence is not welcome in these lands.” The stallion had flinched at her words, and Guyra gloated. Perhaps he had actually gotten the message. She was about to leave, when he took an unsteady step forward that caused her to stop.

”What is it now?” the eagle demanded irritably. His urge to return to the Moon Filly, and the other urge to find out about his previous mare preventing him from doing so, being interrupted by the bird’s blunt warning had drawn the stallion out of his mental confusion. She was eying him intently, so Yunkara tried to hide his thoughts from her but without much success. Snorting, he gave up. ”Look, eagle, we can settle this one way or another. I know what you think of me – you should know how I feel about you, too – but we can discuss things like the civil creatures we are supposed to be. Does that meet your standards?”[/i] he muttered grumpily. Guyra nodded her head, and before she could speak, the stallion cut her off again. ”You will say nothing to Shaylx, either. I can tell her myself.”

The large eagle scoffed. ”Considering you seem to understand my thoughts on you, Dorado, how would you expect me to believe you would?” Guyra ruffled her feathers and straightened her posture as the Sooty Buckskin pinned his ears at her. ”Do not call me that,” he growled. ”And of anyone, with your apparent abilities, you should be able to see that I will keep my word.”[/i] Guyra couldn’t decide to trust the stallion or not. She pondered the possible outcomes while his fiery eyes watched her, and in them she could see the truth of what he said. It basically went against everything she had vowed, but she voiced her agreement. After all, even the wise eagle had to admit something about the savage brute had changed.

Yunkara was relieved. So far, so good. Lowering his gaze and his whole head to the ground, he asked a question that had bothered him his whole life. ”How is she?”[/i] The stallion’s voice was barely above a whisper, but Guyra caught his words easily and sucked in her breath. She knew he was not aware of what had happened to the Perlino mare, but she was wary of telling him. He had little patience, and he would leave the High Country soon enough that she shouldn’t be threatened. Grasping onto the first thing that came to mind, Guyra muttered ”She’s fine.” before taking to the skies and leaving the Sooty Buckskin behind. It was unlike a wise eagle to fib, and she knew karma would come around someday. Yunkara returned to Shaylx with a slight hope restored in his heart. There was no way he was listening to the eagle – he would find that mare at some point.

[Shay]

Against the far side, away from where the buckskin had disappeared the mare stood in silence. Quietly poised. Were it not for the faint expanding of that barrel and the subtle flaring of ashen nasals one may have mistaken the equine for a statue of gleaming milk chocolate. The occasional sweep of a gusting breeze would lift the heavy lengths of icy sunlight. The proud arch of that muscled neck held her cranium tight in against her chest. Lids were closed over the onyx fire of her gaze, soldiers were twisted back, the majority of her weight was held up by two large tree trunks.

In the quiet of the afternoon and the thought of secrets turned her mind towards her own. It had been her fault, she had been the reason they had gotten cornered by the fires. Had she just listen instead of rebelling her mother would still be alive. That brought a new wave of guilt lapping over the familiar older ones. If her mother had lived she would never have met Yunkara.

Completely lost in thought she wouldn't sense the large brutes return at first. It was a puzzle in which she found herself, and the only one who held most the pieces just up and walked away with nothing more then a muttered apology. He didn't even looked at me before he left, does he find me so unacceptable that he couldn't bear looking at me? Just another blow to a foundation she wasn't at all certain of. Maybe if she had been a little more up front with her feelings instead of waiting for him to make the first move, he wouldn't have left her so easily?

It didn't cross her mind, not really, that he might return, no one ever returns when they leave her. He hadn't really ever given any indication that he wanted her with him, except two words. A shiver coursed that coat at that memory. It had been the closest she had come to giving her heart to him, and for that moment, that span of time she had believed he felt the same way. But it had been a brief moment, as fleeting as the wind, one that brought a relentless longing into her life.

What alerted her to the fact that she was no longer alone? Perhaps the crack of a twig stepped on by a heavy hoof? Or maybe the rustle of grass when no breeze stirred? Whatever it was that caused eyes to snap open, a single twin slid to the left before the sleek length of that skull twisted in his direction.

Her heart stopped, before skipping into a thundering beat. He was there! He didn't leave, not really!! That meant something right? Oh she wanted to run to him, to dance around the wonder that was him but her limbs remained frozen. Though the emotional joy could not be kept from the midnight fire of her gaze that was now locked on his form. Breath held, she had a thousand questions for him but the soft lyrical tones of her voice remained locked behind the lump in her throat. Thus in silence she stood her heart yearning for something she didn't deserve.

[aquiladorado]

The stallion slowed his stride the closer he got to the Moon Filly. What would she think of him going out to find another mare? The thought bothered him, until he decided it wasn’t information he needed to share with her. She was different, more meaningful than the other had been – yet he needed to see that other mare all the same. Even the sight of her would ease his worries, just one glimpse of her creamy coat...

His thoughts haunted him as Yunkara sought out Shaylx. He eyed her cautiously, wondering what she would think of him after what had just happened, but the warm look she gave him melted every fear away. He picked up a faster walk, each step filled with a hidden longing, as he approached. Her eyes were filled with happiness at the sight of him and drew the stallion to her with the same feelings. Everything is going to be alright, Yunkara thought as he found peace beside the Moon Filly and rested his large head on her neck.

He muzzled through the silky strands of her mane and breathed deeply in content, taking in her sweet scent. Her presence was able to uncoil every tight muscle in his body, and the stallion relished in the feeling. Truthfully, Yunkara was hoping to distract her from any questions she might have – the longer he could put them off, the better. Without moving, he let out a sigh. ”You could sleep now,”[/i] he offered, taking into consideration his own exhaustion. If anything, he would uphold his bargain with the eagle tomorrow. After all, he did have a lot of explaining to do.

[Shay]

A wicker of delight slipped free from ashen lips as he drew close, the warmth of his touch sent a small shudder coursing through her frame. Twisting her cranium around as he stood with his own muzzle pressed to her mocha throat gently, Lips part to tug at the sable laced midnight threads lining the proud arch of his muscular neck. The slight muffling of his voice against her pelt did nothing to take away from its depthless tones.

"I could." Came her softly spoken voice. "But that would only put off the inevitable. You have more courage then that, Yunkara. But you need not explain things if you have no wish too." Falling silent for a moment while again her thoughts turned towards secrets, her secrets, his secrets. A world of shadows and mystery, a world of night, a world she both loved and hated. Perhaps if she trusted him with her secret he would one day trust her with his. A shift in her weight took her a step away from the large brute. "We all have our secrets, some tear the gut, some the heart, while others shred the soul leaving little but a bleeding core in its place."

For a moment the midnight amber of her gaze lifted to his form, studying the sooty buckskin stallion. He was light where she was dark, and she dark where he was light. Catching herself admiring his form she would look away slightly embarrassed, this was neither the time nor the place to be caught leering at him like he could quench her perched throat. It was nearing mid afternoon the sun dipping lower and lower towards the horizon. How she longed for the cover of night, when she knew he could not make out her form as easily as he did now. Strange how it was easier to bare ones would soul in a nightly hour.

Barrel heaved as a deep breath was taken before the velveteen tones of her voice rose once more. "I killed my mother." Her voice froze in her throat, she had never actually spoken those words allud before, and somehow it only served to make it more of a reality. Lids squeezed shut against the memories, nevermind him. Her position half turned away from the larger equine saved the fae from even having a glimpse of his reaction to her words.

Seconds passed with no sound from him, while her mind kicked into over drive weighing and debating all of her options. It all came down to one unknown factor. Yunkara. Her very world at that moment hung by a tiny thread that could be strengthen or severed at his whim.

[aquiladorado]

Yunkara stiffened at the mare’s wise reply. It was so like the way of the Moon Fillies to ‘address the inevitable’ – why couldn’t she just let it be? Despite the fact that she had offered for him to keep it to himself, the Sooty stallion knew the underlying expectation of that statement. His eyes narrowed and he started to heat up, his mood taking on its familiar nasty edge. Of course I had to chase after a Moon Filly! the stallion argued in his head. Everything he knew about them was mysterious and in some way annoying to him – why had he felt so different about this one?

The more she spoke, the worse it got. ”We all have our secrets, some tear the gut, some the heart, while others shred the soul leaving little but a bleeding core in its place.” The words struck hard, their ironic summary of what his secrets were doing to him caused Yunkara to wince before Shaylx stepped away from him. The Sooty Buckskin glared at the mare, hatred for her understanding blazing in his dark eyes. Who did she think she was? No one was allowed into his memories; using them against him was only something the eagle had done – and Yunkara definitely despised that winged-rat with a passion. The stallion snorted his displeasure as he shook his head irritably, as if trying to get rid of the visions that still remained there.

Curse the Moon Filly for putting him in a bad mood! Not that it was hard to do, but obviously he was not in the happiest state after a visit with an outright nemesis, and what Shaylx had done was just outright inconsiderate. Yunkara was about to reprimand the mare, give her a piece of his mind, when she quietly spilled her secret at the most awkward of times. The forced voice failed to register in the stallion’s mind. He simply stared at her – no horror or disgust was apparent, only an overwhelming confusion. Why was she telling him that? She must... trust me. The thought was disturbing.

No Brumby should hand out their trust carelessly, especially to someone like himself. Yunkara was dumbfounded. He certainly didn’t trust anyone. What was he supposed to do now? The anger he had felt toward the mare disappeared quickly, and he continued to stare at her while his brain whirred at an alarming rate. He had to do something – instead of just standing there like an idiot. Did he tell her what she wanted him to? Did he comfort her, apologize, shift the blame... For endless moments Yunkara struggled with himself, until he finally came out with something. ”I’m not who you think I am,”[/i] he said cautiously. It was all he could come up with.

[Shay]

It was a good thing she did not catch the hatred in his gaze, though even she could feel the anger radiating from his frame. Even before she had spoken of her secret, his agitation was obvious, as was the simple fact that she was making it worse. Regret filled the Moon Fillies form the instant she had discarded his request, the distance and annoyance that filled the stud was her fault. When would she learn it was simply better for everyone else if she just kept quiet? Again she longed for the cover of darkness with a fierce wild desire, in the night she was at home, where she belonged. Finally his voice broke the tense silence that stretched between the pair, and his words brought a near silent snort from the mare. "You do not know nor care to know what I think of you Yunkara. Please forgive me for speaking out of turn, it is not my place, and it will not happen again."

A twitch of that icy creme tail slapping against the sting of bites from pesky critters. There wasn't any way she knew of to salvage this situation, and every path her mind followed only ended with his anger. "Just forget I'm here, I won't bother you again." Attempting to be as small and insignificant as possible in the tiny tree lined clearing Shaylx drifted to a point far from him, giving him the space he seemed to desire. The fire of her gaze seemed dim in the light of the slowly sinking sun.

She didn't admit to herself, let alone him, the hurt this whole day had caused. A plan half formed in the back of her mind. He would need to sleep, after traveling all night then having their rest disturbed early on in the day. Soon night would fall and the inevitable need to sleep with draw him down. She would disappear, he certainly didn't need or want her for anything and she only seemed to complicate his life. It wasn't likely that he'd even notice her absence when he rose with the sun the next day. These thoughts and others play through the mares mind as she stood silently, eyes closed. For all visible appearances she could have fallen into sleeps embrace.

But it wasn't slumber that held her, she simply bid her time not wishing to burden him any longer with her undesirable company. Since she had caused her mother's death she'd dealt with an ever crumbling self confidence. When she was with him if felt like she was regaining who she had been before, but it was a simple illusion. Just because she felt something when around him didn't mean he felt it too, and it was foolishly naive of her to think otherwise. Thank the powers that ruled the land she hadn't had the courage to tell him he owned her heart. She'd at least retained enough intelligence to know he'd bulk at such a revelation.

[aquiladorado]

Fantastic. His momentary temper tantrum had upset the mare. Normally Yunkara was not bothered by such things, but every stab of pain that affected the Moon Filly seemed to affect him, too. Now he knew why she would cringe at the mention of her past, the dark memories taking over, but surely it was an accident. What she had just spoken was also puzzling. Of course he didn’t know what she thought of him – first off, she had never mentioned anything. Second, he was a stallion. And third, the last time he had asked was when they had first met and that didn’t go over so well. It just ended in the exact same situation he was in right now. But truthfully, the question of why she had followed him of her own accord had embedded itself in his mind.

The Sooty Buckskin glanced at the sky to see that it was probably mid-evening, and the sun was starting to set. He needed to sleep, but noticed that Shaylx had drifted further and further away from him. She was also standing with her head pointed in the opposite direction of where he stood, not wanting to look at him. Yunkara sighed in surrender. He hated it when she did this; any other Brumby? Who cares! But to have Shaylx mad at him, well it was losing a fight against a yearling. Not that he ever had, but he assumed it would feel similar. The stallion took a couple steps closer the mare’s darkening frame. ”I didn’t mean what I said, or at least in the way you took it.”[/i] Yunkara struggled to maintain the stubborn and prominent pride in his voice, but the Moon Filly did not answer. He waited patiently for a few minutes before his patience ran out and he snorted in further surrender. ”I’m sorry,”[/i] came his desperate voice, all pride lost. Still no answer though. Perhaps she was sleeping.

Moving closer, yet still set apart, to the Moon Filly, the Sooty Buckskin eased his muscles and dropped his head. Sleep would have come quickly, if it hadn’t been for his still perfectly awake thoughts. The stallion slipped into a peaceful state, resting but not asleep, for all his senses were still tingling and alert to his surroundings. As the unanswered questions buzzed around his head, the sun slowly sank and the sky became dark. Whether it was the fact that he was becoming accustomed to being awake at night or the fact that he had never actually fallen asleep, Yunkara twitched an ear at a stirring in the clearing. Shaylx, was his immediate thought and a sadness settled over his form. He had figured she might do this while he tried to peace things together in his rest. Slowly opening his eyes and allowing them to adjust to the darkness, he could barely make her out – if she was there at all. ”Don’t go,”[/i] the stallion pleaded quietly, peering into the night in search of the creamy mane and tail illuminated by the faint light of the moon. He still couldn’t see very well, but a familiar presence eased his worries so he turned away from the clearing and marched out of the trees. ”Come this way,”[/i] he called softly before continuing over the grassy plain to where it headed down a small hill. Yunkara could still feel that presence traveling with him, but whether he was imagining it to satisfy his nerves or not, he would soon find out.

[Shay]

Shaylx had stood silent through his quiet plea's, even his I'm sorry that tore through her heart, nearly making her buckle and give in to the need to close the short distance that seemed to be such a huge canyon. Time had ticked by and it seemed he had fallen asleep. Opening a single dark eye to survey his still frame for a long endless moment, as if trying to memorize everything she could about him.. But before she'd make any serious attempt at slipping away unnoticed his voice called, telling her not to go. Her motion ceased while she swung that sleek cranium around to watch the large sooty buckskin.

It was more instinct the an actual decision that had her obeying his command to follow him. Still she did not speak, her head hung drooped as she followed a pace or two behind him. In the quiet solitude of her thoughts while they had stood so close yet so far Shaylx had gone over the days events. She knew that she pushed when she had not right to push. They were nothing more then traveling companions on his part. But even that thought was flawed, why would he plead for her to stay if she meant nothing to him?

Confused and more lost then she'd ever been before the mares quietly muffled hoof falls followed the path that he lead. Wrapping herself in the silence of the night she so loved while muscles moved in an automatic motion beneath the dark rich chocolate pelt. Icy lengths of creamy silk occasionally flickered in time with the chaos mulling around inside her skull.